I had a memorable dream a few weeks ago.
In my dream I was walking with my children through a place reminiscent of Disneyland.
I noticed a little girl wandering alone in a darkened corner. She was crying. She was lost.
We stopped.
Instantly, I knew this little girl. The child was me. I felt her fear and sadness and my whole body smiled with compassion. I went to her.
I approached her carefully because she didn't know me. I knelt in front of her and spoke comforting words, telling her I was there to help. Eager for rescue, she hugged me tightly. I felt her relief.
I took her by the hand and led her, along with my children, to a little cafeteria-like restaurant. We were the only ones there. The children chose plates of food and joined together at a table as I paid for our meal. Standing at the register, I looked over at my contented crew with pleased fulfillment-- my child-self relaxing, smiling, listening to my daughter chatting on.
I put the credit card back in my wallet, grateful I had the resources to serve her, to nurture her.
Just Imagine it!
Picture of "Maiden all Forlorn" by Hyrum
Inspired by "The House that Jack Built"
I seem to be on a mission for my husband to gain full understanding of what is is like to be a stay-at-home mom.
I don't know why. It's not that I don't appreciate being at home. I choose it. The job is just much harder than I ever expected.
I'm often coming up with new analogies that I think will give him insight into my days.
My latest idea was sprung from a conversation we had about why I am (too often) so snappy when he gets home from work.
While we both work all day in occasionally stressful environments- I want him to understand that there is one important major difference- a difference that might explain why I have "crazy eyes" at 5:00.
That difference lies in the behavior of our co-workers.
His co-workers, for the most part, follow the social norms relative to speaking, touching, respecting personal space, and hygiene that make for a pleasant work climate. Mine...don't.
Too illustrate this point, I wish could make a video of an office space in which co-workers acted like children. It would be HILARIOUS, people. Film just isn't one of my talents.
We have only been imagining it and we are getting a kick out of it!
Seriously, this is a gem. Anyone out there want to make this a reality?
Picture it. It's sure to make you smile!
birth
I've been contemplating this new birth experience, and the birth
process in general. We went to the Thanksgiving Point farms recently,
and while there I saw a baby chick hatch out of it's egg. I had never
seen anything hatch. It was meaningful for me. I thought of life
inside an egg, and the life understood by the baby boy in my body:
darkness, tightness, narrow understanding of the world, limited
experience, cannot begin to fathom the world that exists outside
(space, light, color, freedom, movement, touch, sight, love.)
In the scriptures it says that a new birth is required/expected of us.
We must be born again in Christ, becoming new creatures in Him,
receive a change of heart. Thereby becoming a people who "have no more
disposition to do evil, but to do good continually."
Birth is initiated by stress. Birth means breaking, pushing,
struggling, opening. Yet, it also happens on it's own; I think of
words like: allow, submit, receive. There is only one way out. "There
is no other way nor means whereby man can be saved, only through the
atoning blood of Jesus Christ, who shall come; yea, remember that he
cometh to redeem the world."
I feel like I am still inside my egg. There is more to life than I can
even imagine, with greater light, love, color, joy, freedom, space,
breath. Christ talks of making eyes to see, ears to hear, minds to
understand, and hearts to soften.
My heart desires to: Awake. Break free. Shake off the chains. Allow.
Submit. Release.
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