Who's with me?

I've been hearing these words in my mind lately: "I'm not going to be afraid anymore."

What is it I'm afraid of? Failure, Mistakes, Embarrassment, Humiliation, Criticism, and Regret.

Is anyone else afraid of these things?

Being afraid to fail and make a fool of yourself is time-consuming.

I doubt I'm the only one that has spent 20+ minutes on a 10 word thank-you note.
I spend WAY more time texting/emailing so I can get the words right instead of making a quick phone call.

Being afraid to make mistakes is isolating and empty.

Sometimes I think about inviting people over...and then I think about what to cook and that is the end of it.
I don't begin conversations very often, because I stink at small talk. Now, if you want to talk to me about principles, or growth, or pain the conversation might go better. This doesn't help me make new friends!

Being afraid of what other people think is paralyzing.

Basically, I can invite people into my messy, real life and enjoy their friendship or I can wait until my life is clean and put together and go without. Wait until I know how to cook...wait until my house is clean...wait until I have something to say...wait until I have figured out what kind of music I like.
It's easy to look at others and imagine that their life is in absolute order. (Experience tells me that is probably not true- and if it is then maybe there is something I can learn!)

Ironic that I regret not doing anything because I was afraid I would make a mistake and regret it.

So, the moral of the story is: Let's don't be afraid to talk, to write, to invite, to give. And let's be kind.
We all make mistakes but everyone can do without embarrassment, humiliation, and harsh criticism.

Next time we have an awkward phone call, or a good visit in my messy kitchen eating apple slices- We can laugh and be grateful we are spending our time well, together and learning!


Jewels said...

"Being afraid of what other people think is paralyzing."
Oh, man. That is so true. I'm beginning to think that a huge part of our reason for coming to earth is to learn to love ourselves, imperfections and all.

Meg said...

Just so great. Thank you.

Abby said...

Amen Julie. It's not easy!

June said...

I just love the stories you have shared and your insight and real love of being a mom :) so excited to see what you will do next my new friend!

Rachel said...

I saw you mentioned in both posts of being in pain. what's wrong? I hope you are ok. I think you are amazing and i loved visiting you and your wonderful family!!!! I thought you were practically perfect in every way!!

Abby said...

Thanks Rachel, you are kind. You know, the pain I feel is just regular, life pain. The work I have to do is bigger than the skill I have! Growth hurts sometimes. I love you and am so glad to see you happy!

Melody said...

I love this, Abigail! And I love your name.

From "Dune" by Frank Herbert: "Fear is the mind-killer. Fear is the little-death that brings total obliteration. . ." Okay, maybe that's a bit heavy for this post, but it's what always comes back to me. That and II Timothy, "For the Lord hath not given us the spirit of fear; but of power and of love and of a sound mind."

I'm in. Thanks for inspiring me.

Kyle and Shanalee said...

I've told you before, I love it when you write. And your kids are freakin adorable. That is all.

Alex said...

So I started and restarted this comment a few times now. I just wanted to let you know, I can relate and I appreciate your very honest thoughts. I love you and am glad to be part of your family. Keep up the good work. We're reading and rooting for you from Ohio. Also, I'm really looking forward to hearing what you have to say at LTYM.

Laura Hatch said...

I've been thinking about what to comment for the last two days, so I guess you could say I'm with you. Also, I'm really awful at small talk. I'm sure I often come across as aloof or disinterested. Certainly doesn't help make new friends. Mostly I just wanted to say that I love you. And that I'm reading! I am grateful for what you've shared. You have always inspired me. Thank you for that. Keep it up!

Abby said...

Alex and Laura!
Thank you. I love you both!

You are true friends that I am so happy to have in my life.

I was just informed that I will be reading FIRST at the show. My heart is already beating like crazy and it is still 4 days away!

I know if I totally humiliate myself you will still love me. :) Thanks for that.

Anonymous said...

I went to a stake fireside on April 28th called "It's Cool to Be Good". I probably brought home something totally different than the youth who were being addressed. The thing that one of the speakers said which I have thought about the past nine days was that when we "fear", fear all of the things you mentioned in this post, we give away our "power". Our power is that we have the potential to be kings and queens in God's kingdom. When we let fear get in the way of our potential, we are giving away that power. I'm trying to be more powerful and less afraid. Thanks for your post Abby, I'm glad I stopped by and read, it's been a while since I've visited the blogger world and I'm glad I can leave feeling uplifted.

Abby said...

Katrina, Thanks for stopping by and leaving a comment! That is a great insight that I will think about for a few days, I'm sure.

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